aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
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3,860 posts
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TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 19, 2023 13:37:11 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




The moment he’d heard that Andrea herself was getting into the Gym business?

Well, well, it was time to pay her a visit! However, today was not going to be between Ro and Chomper, since he wanted to experience the insanity of her non-traditional challenge…

…which was basically making a sandwich.

But see, here’s the thing:

Outside of Alto Marean carbonara and some recipes he knew from memory, Lars preparing a sandwich was… definitely bound to result in disaster.

Which was why he was accompanied by some of his more… humanoid Pokémon.

Weather Trio knew he was going to need all the fucking emotional support he was going to get with cobbling a sandwich together.

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played by

Kost

Dragon-hooded girl
she/her
21
August 10
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
Asexual
Minor Gym Leader
Ace (Civilian)
5'11" (180 cm) height
5'11" (180 cm) height
I wanna become a Pokémon!
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2,130 posts
part of
TAG WITH @andreavaneau
Andrea Vaneau
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 19, 2023 15:24:01 GMT
Andrea Vaneau Avatar
Another brave soul wished to take on the Fallarbor Gym's sandwich challenge, and to Andrea's surprise, it was a person she already knew: Lars Anderson (she didn't really like calling him Laurence).

As soon as the head ranger arrived at the Vaneau family ranch with his entourage of humanoid Pokémon, the young Gym leader was there to greet him, wearing her usual dragon-like onesie, while carrying an adorable Fuecoco in her arms. "Good afternoon, Mr. Lars! Are you ready to take on my challenge?"

Whether he was ready or not, she guided him to a picnic table where every ingredient imaginable had been laid out. "You'll have to pick five ingredients from this table to make your sandwich." Of course, given the amount of options, Lars could possibly end up with choice paralysis.

OOC notes


You must add 1 ingredient to the sandwich per post, and you must use the roll command in each post. Having your Pokémon help you in the sandwich-making process (e.g. using a Pokémon with a slicing move to slice the ingredients, using Nacli’s salt to add flavor to the sandwich, etc.) will add 10 to your roll (cannot go higher than 100).

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
awards
3,860 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 12:21:11 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




“Oh my god don’t call me mister, it makes me sound way older than I really am,” he began with a cackle, although inside he was already internally screaming because he was already 31 and not getting any younger.

He didn’t miss the Fire-type she was carrying either. Most likely it was one of the new ones, because the last one he knew of (that was supposedly from Galar) was the adorable rabbit that could kick anyone into next week if given the chance.

“Wait. What?” he blinked, extremely confused at the spread that was laid out on the table. He’d already been prepared to take on any number of obstacles in the wild; or face seemingly impossible challenges, but this?

Okay!

He visibly gulped. Damn, there were so many fucking choices laid out on the spread! Holy shit.

Although… he already had an idea of what he wanted. Somewhat.

He already had his eyes on a large bright red, juicy, plump tomato as he reached out for it—and summoned Gareth, his Gallade, appearing from the burst of red light and ready to cut a bitch fight.

When the Gallade saw the sandwich table ingredient spread, though, the look of confusion on his face was just as evident as it was on Lars’s own.

“Yeah. I know. This was totally unexpected but… can you help me slice this tomato up?”

Because he was thinking of—a BLT, maybe? There was some lettuce there but that would come later.

He then positioned the big, plump, juicy tomato and waited for Gareth to summon his blade-arms to slice the tomato into pieces lengthwise.

cKg1coXq
+10



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played by

Kost

Dragon-hooded girl
she/her
21
August 10
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
Asexual
Minor Gym Leader
Ace (Civilian)
5'11" (180 cm) height
5'11" (180 cm) height
I wanna become a Pokémon!
awards
2,130 posts
part of
TAG WITH @andreavaneau
Andrea Vaneau
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 15:42:08 GMT
Andrea Vaneau Avatar
If this were an anime, Lars would definitely be considered an old man at 31. This was not an anime, though; it was a realistic world filled with dimensional travel and fantastical creatures.

The head ranger picked a plump tomato as his first ingredient, which he sliced up with the help of his befuddled, battle-hardened Gallade. Andrea leaned over the table afterwards, inspecting the fruits (or vegetables in this case) of their labor. "Hmm, not bad. I've never seen more evenly cut slices!" She remarked.

There were four ingredients remaining, not counting the bread which had already been prepared in advance. Could the challenger keep up his lucky streak, or would he fall like all great legends?

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
awards
3,860 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 16:11:20 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




“Beginner’s luck,” was all he said as this time he decided to bust out the rest of his entire ‘armada’, which consisted of his Gardevoir and Lucario—the last of which saw the panic and confusion on Lars’s face and brought a paw to his face in classic facepalm pose.

The Gardevoir was just as confused as the Gallade was, but Gareth was nice enough to point out to Lynette that there was food on the table and Lars was now looking for the lettuce this time, because he already had a rather solid plan of what he wanted.

(Was he seeing things or was there no bacon? Eh, he’ll get to that later.)

This time picking up a head of lettuce that looked rather… grimy (was it just freshly-yanked out of the ground?) and this time, the Gallade took a step back and allowed the Gardevoir to come front and center.

“Clearly there’s no running water to wash this… uhh, Lyn, can you help me clean this lettuce please?” he asked the Gardevoir, the look of confusion still evident on his features.

He wondered how the hell this was going to work—but nothing to worry about, since the Gardevoir then proceeded to smatter the head of lettuce with a Life Dewinteresting.

Once that was done, it was the Gallade’s turn once more to help slice up the head of lettuce into manageable pieces so he could continue layering on the sammich sandwich condiments.

gbgyXOA_
+10



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played by

Kost

Dragon-hooded girl
she/her
21
August 10
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
Asexual
Minor Gym Leader
Ace (Civilian)
5'11" (180 cm) height
5'11" (180 cm) height
I wanna become a Pokémon!
awards
2,130 posts
part of
TAG WITH @andreavaneau
Andrea Vaneau
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 16:25:21 GMT
Andrea Vaneau Avatar
There was definitely bacon somewhere on the table, but Andrea wasn't going to help him, since that would be against the rules. Three guesses as to what Pokémon the bacon was made from. The answer might surprise you.

Ah, but we are getting ahead of ourselves. It was time to cut the lettuce... right after using a Gardevoir's mystical, black hole-creating powers to rinse it. Gareth once again did his thing, while Alpha the Lucario was just there presumably for moral support.

"What an interesting usage of Life Dew!" The novice Gym leader commented, while her Fuecoco waved its small arms excitedly. "Heh. I think Jalapeño wants to see Gallade cut more things!" She added with a soft laugh.

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
awards
3,860 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 16:43:25 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




Yes, the Lucario was there for moral support—and for another reason.

Should Andrea look over to where Alpha was still facepalming while watching this travesty unfold, there was only one guess as to whomst would be accompanying him when they consumed this… this thing he was making.

Well, the lettuce looked… somewhat okay at least?

“Thanks, Lyn,” he said quietly as he picked up a particularly… neat-looking piece and layered it on top of the tomatoes. Now, the next problem was… where was the cheese the bacon slices? Did he have to fry it?! Or could he use some sliced ham instead?

(But then again that wouldn’t be a BLT would it, if it had ham in it?!)

He was about to stay there, paralyzed on the table when this time, the Lucario realized that Lars was already in the premature stages of a mcfucking meltdown.

Hoping to save the situation, the Lucario approached the table, saw where the bacon was located and this time grabbed it with his paws and walked over, before proceeding to bonk Lars upside the head.

“Ow! What the f—hey, Alph, what the fuck was that for?! he exclaimed, looking over at the Lucario who then gave him an extremely pointed eye roll.

Before he could step in any further, though, the Gallade was at it again, chopping up the bacon on the plate with as much care as he could.

(Well, if he was being honest it was with as much finesse as those blade-arms could do without slicing up the entire table.)

h1bI|qSM
+10



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played by

Kost

Dragon-hooded girl
she/her
21
August 10
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
Asexual
Minor Gym Leader
Ace (Civilian)
5'11" (180 cm) height
5'11" (180 cm) height
I wanna become a Pokémon!
awards
2,130 posts
part of
TAG WITH @andreavaneau
Andrea Vaneau
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 17:04:43 GMT
Andrea Vaneau Avatar
With Alpha's help, Lars was luckily able to locate the bacon before his anxiety could cause him to pass out on the ground, body twitching and mouth foaming. By the by, the answer from earlier was Spoink meat.

While Gareth utilized the way of the sword once again, Andrea couldn't help but notice the perspiring, agitated mess that was Lars. "Are you alright?" She worriedly asked. Her non-traditional challenge was supposed to reduce stress and let people have fun, but the head ranger did NOT look like he was having fun at the moment.

"You know, it's OK if you make a bad sandwich. Nobody's gonna think less of you." The young PokéManiac tried to comfort him.

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
awards
3,860 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 17:12:48 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




And there it was, the trigger.

“I… have a confession to make.”

He sighed. There was nothing else to it.

“I… I can’t cook. No, really. Outside of Alto Marean carbonara—and yes there is no cream or garlic involved in it, just cheese, guanciale, eggs and noodles—I’m a shit show in the kitchen.”

(Maybe this was why between him and , it was always the other man who would make the food between them. Evan… ouch.)

The moment he said this, the Lucario then threw his paws up in mock celebration. Fucking finally, his idiot human said it!

“…and ironically enough, I can gut a fish but cooking it is just. Well… beyond me.”

He then stared at the half-done sammich sandwich; while the tomato slices looked fine, the lettuce and the bacon bits looked… off, at best. Ah, shit.

Before he could say anything else, the Gardevoir then used her inherent Psychic powers to float over several slices of cheese and layer it atop the… crazed mess they’d managed to cobble together so far.

“Thanks again, Lyn… gah, sorry I’m such a fucked-up idiot who only survives on one kind of pasta dish and then the rest is takeout from the convenience store…”

h0ElDXud
+10



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played by

Kost

Dragon-hooded girl
she/her
21
August 10
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
Asexual
Minor Gym Leader
Ace (Civilian)
5'11" (180 cm) height
5'11" (180 cm) height
I wanna become a Pokémon!
awards
2,130 posts
part of
TAG WITH @andreavaneau
Andrea Vaneau
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 17:33:59 GMT
Andrea Vaneau Avatar
Wow, that was quite the confession. Laurence Anderson had conquered every possible Gym, saved Hoenn from multiple threats, and gained the favor of the legendary bird Articuno, but making a sandwich was beyond even his own boundless capabilities.

"There, there. It's OK..." Andrea ruffled the man's spiky hair, her Fuecoco reaching up to give him a few tiny headpats as well. "Cooking carbonara is still cooking. Besides, there's no rulebook for how to make a sandwich. You just have to go for what feels right. Let your instincts guide you!"

Regardless if her pep talk was effective or not, they needed to finish what they'd started. "Your sandwich doesn't look as bad as you think, but it seems a bit vanilla. For the last ingredient, why not try adding your personal touch? Something that screams 'you'." The draconic cosplayer proposed.

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
awards
3,860 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 18:18:06 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




“What can I say? I’m a very plain guy,” he remarked—although deep inside he was internally screaming because of the comment about him being too safe (or in her words, ‘too vanilla’) about his sandwich… well, clearly the reason why he was like this had already been revealed earlier.

Anyway!

The three Pokémon began looking at each other wondering what he was going to pick out for his last ingredient… but there was something that had already caught his attention.

The Lucario’s eyes bugged out as he realized what Lars was about to grab and was about to ‘yell’ when he reached for the cream cheese and the spoon to ladle it all out followed afterward, thanks to the Gardevoir’s Psychic powers fetching the spoon from where the cutlery had been assembled.

“…well, I know that putting two different cheeses into a BLT is crazy but let’s see how this goes.”

And on the cream cheese was applied.

RL50O6Ua
+10



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played by

Kost

Dragon-hooded girl
she/her
21
August 10
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
Asexual
Minor Gym Leader
Ace (Civilian)
5'11" (180 cm) height
5'11" (180 cm) height
I wanna become a Pokémon!
awards
2,130 posts
part of
TAG WITH @andreavaneau
Andrea Vaneau
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 26, 2023 19:27:28 GMT
Andrea Vaneau Avatar
At last, the BLT to end all BLTs was ready (now with extra cheese!) All that was left was for the Gym leader to review the end product, leaving Lars to wonder why he was suddenly hearing boss music.

"Hmm, the presentation is solid. The ingredients look fresh and well prepared. However... There is a surplus of cheese. The composition is terribly off-balance. For that reason, I'll give this a slightly above average rating of 54."

Oh no... Had she been too harsh on the poor guy? A comedic bead of sweat hovered over her dragon-hooded head. "I-it's just an arbitrary rating, don't let it get you down!" She blurted out. "L-look, why don't you and your Pokémon eat it together, and if you have a different opinion, I'll accept it!"

Lars may have thought of using Alpha as a guinea pig for his culinary disaster, but he wouldn't get off so easily. He had created this monstrosity, now he would have to pay penance for his sins.

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
awards
3,860 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 27, 2023 10:14:16 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




“I told you I’m the plainest idiot you’ll ever know,” he began once she was done critiquing the sammich sandwich.

Almost right away the Gardevoir and Gallade immediately poofed out of existence via Teleport, leaving Alpha the Lucario squinting at the spot where the two had seemingly disappeared off to.

“Why those two…” he grumbled before the Lucario threw his paws up in mock celebration once again. Yeesh, looks like it was going to be between the two of them, then!

“I swear, Lynette and Gareth aren’t normally like this. They can be little shits, too, he continued, raising his voice with an obvious bite of sarcasm—because he knew the two could hear him despite having ‘ran off’ somewhere.

Sighing, with extreme trepidation the Lucario then sat down beside him and eyed the sandwich with much suspicion.

“I know, Alph… nothing else but to get to it…”

He then sliced the sandwich in half, before passing the other half to Alpha, who wrinkled his snout and glared at Lars—there was no way in hell he was touching this until his idiot human took a bite out of it!

“What? I have to go first?! Come on! he exclaimed, grumbling as he picked up the other half and slowly, hesitantly took a bite out of it…

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played by

Kost

Dragon-hooded girl
she/her
21
August 10
Fallarbor Town, Hoenn
Asexual
Minor Gym Leader
Ace (Civilian)
5'11" (180 cm) height
5'11" (180 cm) height
I wanna become a Pokémon!
awards
2,130 posts
part of
TAG WITH @andreavaneau
Andrea Vaneau
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 27, 2023 11:01:18 GMT
Andrea Vaneau Avatar
Andrea watched as Lars braced himself for the last leg of the challenge. She watched as his Gallade and Gardevoir bailed out, leaving only him and his Lucario to shoulder this heavy burden. She watched as they suffered together taking the first few bites.

Finally, when all was said and done, the dragon-hooded girl smiled. "Wanna know the secret of my sandwich challenge? The goal was never to see how good you are at making sandwiches... It was to prove how bonded you are with your Pokémon, helping and supporting each other through thick and thin. Your bond shined beautifully, and for that..."

The flamboyant cosplayer reached into one of her costume's pockets, pulling out a handcrafted badge shaped like a nondescript creature's head. "Dun-dun-dun dun-dun-dun-dun-dun dun-duuuuun! You get the Monster Badge! Congratulations!" The minor Gym leader triumphantly exclaimed.

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played by

Ven

Lars
he / him / his
thirty-three
july 26
alto mare, johto
don’t know, don’t care
ranger & courier
ex-head ranger
tonight
is gonna be the loneliest
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
6’2 hair down, 6’4 hair up height
nessuno vince.
awards
3,860 posts
part of
TAG WITH @lars
Laurence Anderson
aura sammich ft. saltbae [gym]
POSTED ON Jan 27, 2023 12:10:17 GMT
Laurence Anderson Avatar




At least the tomatoes and the cheese didn’t taste all that bad! The lettuce left something to be desired, though, and he missed most of the bacon—because the bacon bits were all with Ro’s half of the sandwich and even the Lucario made a face!

The good thing about this was that they were able to get through the consuming part of the challenge without throwing up or anything like that, so…

“You know,” he mused as he took the nondescript beast-headed badge that she was holding out for him, “…I actually thought you were going to base this off of Chomper’s three heads.”

He then gave her a little knowing smirk.

The Lucario then crossed his arms and rolled his eyes in Lars’s direction, but of course Alpha only meant well.

“Ro took the upset loss a little hard—but I’m pretty sure he’s out for a comeback,” and with that the Lucario nodded her way; confirming his words.

“He’s been training with Alpha non-stop here, and picked up a couple new moves or so. Think they can meet again?”

The offer was there.


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